Alcoholism

Today I gave my life to God, but in a way I hadn’t before. I decided to give up the notion that I would one day be able to drink again in a healthy manner. I have been incessantly, inCESSANTLY, living in the future when it comes to my “healing” and it has been a total DISRUPTION to my daily life.

I was sitting in an AA meeting today at my childhood church, and it just came to me in a way it hadn’t before. That, although I don’t struggle with binge drinking (anymore), I still continue to obsess over my next birthday party where I’ll be “healthy” and “drinking shots upon shots” because I’m “healthy”. Fucked, isn’t it?

The disease had me wrapped around its little finger…but I am realizing quickly that I NEED to surrender to my Higher Power if I want to heal, and that means surrendering to the fact that I am POWERLESS against alcohol, without God, without sobriety, without Unconditional Love of self.

Oh, and on another note, I’ve started the journey into healing and horses!!! I’ve begun working with special needs individuals and horses, as well as beginning the journey into energy work on horses. See photo below.

All is due timing, as I want to be healed yesterday. (Thank GOOD for horses!!!!) 😀

4 responses to “Alcoholism”

  1. pegsterweb says:

    You are awesome and amazing, Bri! Thank you for sharing your revelations and stories.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Roni says:

    I love this post!! First, the part about alcohol: through the end of 2020 and 2021, I found myself drinking more than I ought. I decided it was time to just go cold turkey: no alcohol! The commitment was for one year (to see what it’s like and see if I could). That started in March, and I’m finding that I feel great and I can! So can you!!! Why pollute God’s temple (your body)? Why not heal and be healthy? The thing I liked about drinking was the feeling of the wine glass in my hand and the social aspect, so now I pour a can of Reeds Zero ginger ale into a wine glass! It looks and feels like white wine, and removes any desire for wine! Also, alcohol-free Heineken is delicious!

    As for horses, I wished for one every year when I blew out my birthday candles as a young girl! Never got one, but still love them! I’m so happy to see you doing this! Also, if you get a chance, watch the TV series Heartland! Horses galore!!! XXXOOO

    Liked by 1 person

    • I have drank Odouls and Heineken and I like the Heineken better as well! And GOOD FOR YOU going no alcohol! I think the most I have gone is six months when I wanted my foot to heal back in 2016. Now it will definitely be much longer, like for the rest of my life! I forgot that you were a horse lover!!! I have LOVED being around them, I just got back tonight from a volunteering session. Love you, and LOVE your comments, always! ❤

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: