My goodness it’s been quite an interesting five years. I think that’s when I finally surrendered to the fact that I would no longer be “training” for something, but simply working out to be healthy. (I had a career-ending foot injury back in 2014 and then spent ~2 years trying to get back on the soccer field, to no avail).
Before the Lis Franc injury, I had aspirations to play soccer overseas, then possibly coach as a career. Everything changed when I got hurt. And looking back, now, I am SO grateful that it did. I believe that I finally found myself in who I’m supposed to become. Bipolar aside, I deeply believe that this injury rocked me to my core, aligning me with Spirit, with God, and with my True Purpose on this planet.
I’m still learning to understand how important it is to relax, enjoy the journey, and stop obsessing over my future, but what I believe I am doing best is trusting the Universe’s love for me.
Above is a photo of me hugging my sister at the University of New Mexico, where I played for four years. This was taken right after my second surgery.
Anyways, I thought about going for a run today. Mind you, I haven’t worked out or let my heart rate rise above 120 BPM in a month (sorry, coaches!). That’s a long time for an ex-college athlete. I battle back and forth between what’s healthy and what’s not…
Is it healthy to spend time resting? And how long then, if so? I do go on walks, hikes, and yoga….does that count as exercise? Or do only the workouts where you get your heart rate above 190 count? I just don’t care anymore (not healthy; send help!). Leading me to my next topic…goal setting!
I have been struggling with the amount of introspection that I have done over the past 4-5 years, especially goal-setting. How much of our goal-setting is self-serving? Is that okay? So many parts in me feel guilty for the grind to achieve aspects of life that are only meant to serve me, and not a bigger purpose. In addition, I have gotten a bit of a perfectionist mentality when it comes to setting goals…but a friend recently said to me:
“BRI, if you’re going to do anything, you have to ACCEPT that you may fail…you cannot be perfect! Remember all of those stories about individuals (SUCCESSFUL individuals) who have failed hundreds of times? They, didn’t, give, up.”
His words spoke to me in a way that I hadn’t digested since having my manic episodes, when I realized that mental illness truly could inhibit goal-setting and life-conquering ambitions.
With that being said, I am finally setting a goal for myself to learn Spanish. I have found so many opportunities missed to speak Spanish and connect with someone, being that I live in Southern California. I hope this will bring my goal of connecting to each other into a greater reality!
¡Muchas gracias por leer mi publicación! ¡Adios!