I hope you have a person like Brooke in your life…and if not, I hope you manifest them! What I mean is, I hope you have someone who you can confide in, cry to, love from afar and up close (she travels the world a lot), but overall someone you can be completely yourself with, in the good and the bad. Oh, and someone who entertains your love for Tarot cards. (see featured photo, above)
You see, this girl (amongst many, many others in my life) has seen the absolute ugly in me. She has seen me manic/psychotic (at my very worst) and by psychotic I mean, I had truly lost my essence that brings my light into the world. I became my shadow. And she (my family, as well) loved me, unconditionally, through all of it.
I cannot even begin to imagine how much courage that must take, amidst her own battles and struggles, to find the strength and courage to love me with unconditional acceptance, when there was no light emanating from me, for weeks.
Amongst many stories that encapsulate the epitome of Brooke, there is one that I must share:
It was a snowy evening in Idyllwild, and we had been camping, and sleeping in Brooke’s car for the past two days. We had just filled ourselves on canned soup and leftovers so “in theory” we were full. But not satisfied. But full. Anyways, Brooke and I found ourselves walking through the snowy, sleepy town center and came upon a pizza parlor.
My mind immediately (jumped, unapologetically so) to the beautiful feeling one gets when sitting in the company of a loved one, awaiting the moment when the waiter brings a piping hot Large (X-LARGE) pizza pie, probably Margherita. Which leads to filling your soul (I mean stomach) with hot cheese, marinara sauce, and melted dough. Then awaiting the moment of guilt because I try to eat a plant-based diet, but the moment never presents itself because this is a daydream and I’m in heaven.
Meanwhile, in the middle of my fantasy involving cheese and attractive waiters, my sister ruins the daydreaming escapades. Her words, exactly…
“Do you want to do something wild?” she says, or, questions, her tone filled with mischief and adventure. (Edit: her exact words, “Do you want to do something we’ll regret?”).
“…what?” I respond apprehensively, thinking she was starting to formulate the plan for a sunrise hike up a snowy mountain, or perhaps thinking of sleeping outside in the sub-degree temperature…
“What?!” I reply even more emphatically, even more nervous now, I mean, she is an ATHLETE…she cycled over 10,000 miles in 2020 alone. (I WAS an athlete in college, but let’s be honest, I don’t workout anymore).
I started breathing more heavily, preparing myself for the absolute worst. She wanted to hitchhike home. That had to be it.
She responded. “DO YOU WANT TO SPLIT A LARGE PIZZA?”
(I cuss in this blog).
“Oh hell yeah!” was my immediate response. Gosh dang, I was so relieved. Clearly we were on the same wavelength. Neither of us were satisfied from canned soup and chili leftovers.
And then my mind continued to entertain the now viable daydream of being served a Margherita pizza by a handsome, attractive, bantery and single waiter who also HAPPENED to be daydreaming about a young lady named Bri.
Now, this story is relevant to Brooke’s character because it’s safe to say that everyone in my family looks up to her. She is the epitome of groundedness, balance, and Love. She brings people into her heart, just like we brought the pizza into our stomach that night. Hehe. But seriously, she loves everyone; even those who feel that they don’t deserve it, like me.
But she’s also human (let us be thankful for that), and human beings like pizza.
A short synapse of my day:
I woke up later than expected today. 10:30 AM. DAMNIT. I expected to wake up at 8:30, when my alarm went off, but I blame the fatigue on my bipolar medication. It’s just rough, the tiredness throughout the day. It’s truly exhausting, but that’s a tangent I need not enter.
Anyways, I went on a journey into my heart today. I met with two sisters from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and we had coffee for an hour or so. And, they, are, AWESOME. We spoke about God, fear, trust, and Love. Love, with a capital L. The big Love, the God Love. And then we spent time at our local soup kitchen.
With these beautiful human beings, I felt free to express myself in my faith, my fears, and my fierce Love for all human beings and creatures and it, was, so, so needed, today. In a world where we feel the need to wear masks and present ourselves as perfect, being truly authentic with these two beautiful women was so empowering.
May the rest of your day bring you opportunities to be vulnerable with family, friends, and strangers who bring a light to the world that cannot be shattered by illusion.